Things Our Parents Lied to Us About (No Shade, But Let’s Be Real)
Things Ghanaian parents told us growing up that turned out to be lies. From education promises to marriage pressure. Let’s unpack the myths and realities of adulthood in Ghana today.

If there’s one thing adulthood will do, it’s humble you. All the things you grew up believing, thinking life was some well-laid plan? Boom. You grow up and realize it was mostly vibes and hope.
Now this is not an attack on our parents. They raised us the best way they knew how. But we have to admit; they lied. Maybe not intentionally. Maybe they too were lied to. But we can’t act like those words didn’t shape our childhoods and even our adult decisions.
Let’s talk about some of the biggest lies we were told growing up, especially here in Ghana.
1. “Go to school, get good grades, and you’ll be successful”
Ah yes. The ultimate scam. You get all A’s, wear your oversized suit for NSS, and think the world will open up for you. The world said, “LOL.” In 2023 alone, Ghana churned out over 80,000 university graduates. How many of them got jobs straight out of school? Less than 10%, according to data from the Ghana Statistical Service. We were told education is the key to success. But after tertiary education, you’ll find out the lock was changed and nobody told you. It’s why most of us are using our degrees as pillowcases and doing jobs that have nothing to do with what we studied.
2. “Be humble, and people will reward you”
Another sweet-sounding lie that has left many people frustrated and invisible. Growing up, we were told that humility is a virtue, and while that is true in principle, the reality in today’s world is completely different. You can be the most brilliant person in the room, but if you don’t speak up or show your value, nobody will even know you exist.
In the real world, especially in Ghana, visibility is everything. The guy who talks plenty, markets himself well, and carries himself with confidence is the one who gets noticed. Even if he is average at what he does, he’s still the one they remember. Meanwhile, the quiet, hard-working person who just wants to do good work without noise is usually ignored or sidelined.
It happens in job interviews. The person who boldly highlights their skills, even if they are exaggerating a little, is more likely to be selected over someone who has all the qualifications but answers every question with "Yes, please." It happens in offices too. You’ll see people who don’t really deliver much but are always talking in meetings, always close to the boss, always reminding everyone of their presence. And they are the ones who keep getting promoted.
3. “Marriage is the ultimate goal”
From the moment you turn 25 in Ghana, it’s as if an invisible alarm goes off. Aunties start asking when they’ll wear their cloth. Friends drop “God when?” under every wedding post you share. And if you dare turn 30 without a ring, they act like you've missed the train forever. You’re called old, irresponsible, or too picky. Yet, when that same 30-year-old dies, that’s when they finally say “Oh but she was so young.” So which one is it?
Let’s be real. Marriage is no longer the pinnacle of achievement for many young people. According to the 2021 Population and Housing Census, the number of Ghanaians under 35 who are getting married has dropped significantly. Why? Because people are broke. Because people have seen enough failed marriages to know that rushing into it doesn’t guarantee happiness. And because peace of mind is priceless. The economy is tough, expectations are high, and nobody wants to be locked in a stressful union they can’t breathe in.
4. “Sex is evil, don’t talk about it”
Raise your hand if your parents ever sat you down to have a proper sex talk. Anyone? For most of us growing up in Ghana, sex was treated like some forbidden thing you weren’t supposed to speak about. If you so much as asked a question, your mother would say, “Why? Are you doing it?” and your father would act like he had never heard the word before. Meanwhile, hormones were raging and the curiosity was very much alive.
Because of this silence, many young people turned to their peers, social media, porn, or trial and error to figure things out. The problem is, those sources rarely offer accurate or healthy information. That’s part of the reason why Ghana continues to record such high numbers of teenage pregnancies. According to the Ghana Health Service, over 100,000 teenage pregnancies were recorded in 2022. That is not just a number. That is the result of a system that would rather shame than educate. It is the cost of silence.
Parents thought that if they never talked about sex, their kids would magically avoid it. But that approach did the opposite. Instead of protecting us, it left us confused, ashamed, and unprepared.
5. “Obey your elders no matter what”
Growing up in Ghana, this was one of the golden rules. You don’t question your elders. You don’t argue. Even if they’re wrong, you keep quiet and “show respect.” But what many of us didn’t realize is that this mindset made it easy for some adults to abuse their authority without accountability. Respect is a beautiful value, but when it's blindly applied, it can become dangerous.
There are so many stories of young girls and boys who were taken advantage of by older family members, house helps, teachers, or even pastors, and they couldn’t speak up because “you don’t disrespect adults.” People would rather protect a family name or church image than confront an uncomfortable truth. Some girls were told to pray and forget. Others were blamed for “seducing” grown men. This fear of speaking up and the pressure to obey at all costs created trauma that many are still carrying today.
We need to teach children that yes, respect matters, but it should not come at the cost of their safety or mental health. An elder who crosses a boundary is not automatically right because of age. Children should be empowered to say no, to report inappropriate behavior, and to understand that they are not being disrespectful by protecting themselves. Respect is earned through character, not just age. If we want safer homes and communities, then we have to stop treating age as a free pass.
Final Thoughts
Again, this is not an attack. Our parents loved us. They did what they knew. But some of these things don’t hold up anymore.
We’re now in a world where success looks different, relationships are evolving, and young people are questioning everything. And that’s okay.
Let’s do better for the next generation. Let’s teach them honesty, openness, and balance.
Now you, which one of these hit you the hardest? What lie did you grow up believing? Let’s talk.